Avatar characters will never say these
by showeringtiger7
Summary: Things you'll NEVER hear an avatar character say... 'nuff said!
1. Aang

**I'm not doing this in order from funniest to least funniest or anything I'm just thinking this for the first ten things I don't think Aang would say.**

**You can thank Brix who gave me the idea from his/her story '10 ways to annoy and/or prank avatar people' you really should read it its funny.**

**Disclaimer: sigh I don't own avatar. If I did Katara and Zuko would be together already!**

**Things you won't hear Aang say**

"I've decided I'm going to turn myself in to the Fire Lord."

"Hey Sokka you can eat Momo. I don't really care any more."

"Zuko, you can have Katara. I don't love her anymore."

"I'm going to grow hair."

"I've decided to eat meat."

"Let the sand benders have Appa. Besides that means nobody can follow us when that stupid bison starts shedding." (From the fury of Aang.)

**Sadly that's all I could think of. Sorry guys but I'm not that good at comedy but I'm trying. The next character I'm doing is Iroh and I can already think of some for him. So if you have any suggestions then tell me and if I like them I'll post them up!**


	2. Iroh

**Things you'll never hear Iroh say**

Even though I'm teasing Iroh, I will always admire him. Thank you Mako for making his avatar character come to life and I'm sorry you died. May Iroh's voice rest in peace. And avatar creators, YOU'LL NEVER FIND A VOICE AS GOOD AS MAKO'S. WE LOVE YOU MAKO! But good luck finding one!

"I'm switching to COFEE now."

"I think I'll try to lose weight."

"No more tea for me."

"My brother and niece are such kind people."

"I hate playing Pai-sho."

"I hate singing."

"I hate doing music night."

"Azula I love you so much more then Zuko."

"No more tea for me."

"Jun, I don't love you any more."

"I'm a young and hip man."

Okay the last one was kind of stupid but I decided to do it anyway. Remember to help me with some characters for things you'll never think they'd say. The next person on the list is Sokka. Oh I have some good ones for him.


	3. Sokka

**Things you'll never hear Sokka say**

Thank you to the reviewers who wrote suggestions. I'm probably going to put them up.

(From Beagle-luv)

"Aang, I've decided to seriously give up meat and shave my head."

"I didn't really love Yue! I just didn't want Hahn to have her!"

"Toph, I love you."

"I'm gay."

"Yes Katara! I totally approve of you and Zuko being together!"

(From AirGirl Phantom)

"Girls are way superior to guys."

"Here Katara, let me cater to your every whim."

"I love bending. I wish I was a bender."

(My own)

"You know what Aang, I think Zuko should totally join us and teach you fire bending."

"No more sarcasm for me! Now I'm mister serious."

"This boomerang stinks; I'm going to sell it for money."

"Katara, I think I'll respect you from now on."

"Aang, you can have Katara."

"The fire nation rocks."

CHR

Okay, that's all I could think of. Thanks Beagle-luv and AirGirl Phantom who gave me those cool ideas. They were hilarious. Next up is Katara.


	4. Katara

**Katara**

Sorry this took so long. For some reason every time I'd try to load a document the internet kept saying "an error has occurred" I couldn't even log on the night before.

CHR

(From Tomboy 601)

"I should have left Aang in the ice berg"

"I'm going to marry a sexist, sarcastic, evil guy"

(From Airgirl Phantom)

"I agree with Sokka."

"I hate Waterbending. I want to be a Firebender."

"Aang, you're pathetic. Pull yourself together, kid, or the world will never be saved."

"Hey, maybe I should 'lose' my necklace again, just for kicks!"

(From Beagle-luv)

"Sokka, how 'bout I be the warrior and you teach yourself to waterbend? I'm getting sick of it."

"Zuko's hot don't ya think?"

(My own)

"You know, I've always thought this necklace was a piece of junk, Hey Sokka, would you mind selling this too along with your boomerang?"

"Aang, I don't know why I keep showing these affections for you; you're too immature, I'd rather have someone like Zuko."

"Guys, I'm not really a waterbender, it's all a part of magic! Boy, I sure fooled you!"

"I really hope Jet dies he was probably just pretending so I would show him some affections; boy that was a waste of water!" (From Lake Laogai)

"Who, mom, Oh I could care less about her."

CHR

Wow, this time I actually got down to two pages, Beagle-luv, the first one was hilarious. It's Zuko's turn next (Muwahahahahahaha!)


	5. Zuko

**Zuko**

**Who saw the season finale? Zuko has become the DUMBEST dumb person I have ever known on a show! WAAH! And that Zutara moment only lasted like 1 minute because part of the time Katara was yelling at Zuko. THAT WAS THE WORST SEASON FINALE YET! Well how about we make ourselves happy with some comedy!**

**CHR**

(From Beagle-luv)

"Uncle, I've decided to turn myself in to the Fire Nation. I'm tired of running."

"I don't want to chase the Avatar anymore."

"If dad hates me he can shove it for all I care."

"I think I love that waterbending peasant girl. Don't you think her hair loopy things are the cutest?"

"I think I'm gonna kill dad. You wanna help Uncle?"

(From To.Be.Indeed)

"I can't wait for the next father-son cookout!"

"What do you mean? Azula's perfectly sane!"

"Katara, will you marry me?"

"Uncle, I'm going to make my own tea shop next to yours!"

(From AirGirl Phantom)

"Hi Uncle Iroh! How are you? Would you like me to sit down and listen to every word you say?"

"I love Azula. She's the best sister ever."

"Don't call me Zuko. I prefer Zuzu."

"Hey, Avatar! Let's be best pals forever!"

"Hey, that Water Tribe warrior has some sweet skills."

"I miss Zhao. He was a good man."

(My own)

"Hahaha that was so funny."

"Hey uncle, can I listen to another one of your proverbs?"

"I love tea."

"Mai, I love you."

"Hey Ty Lee, you look awesome in pink."

"Wow Sokka, you're pretty strong."

CHR

**Man, you people are taking some of my ideas! But I always say that the reviewer comes first!**

**Okay, I say this chapter goes to Beagle-luv for his/her "If dad hates me he can shove it for all I care," that one was the funniest in this chapter! Okay, next up is Toph!**


	6. Toph

**Toph**

Hope you guys are having a merry Christmas Eve (No offense to my brothers and sisters of Hanukkah or Kwanza)

CHR

(By AirGirl Phantom)

"I think I'm going to give up Earthbending."

"You know what? Aang is WAY braver than I am. He deserves a manlier name than Twinkle Toes."

"Sure, go ahead and clean my feet. I don't care."

"Oh yes, please cater to me because I'm so helplessly blind."

"Man, I love rules."

(By Beagle-luv)

"Earthbending? What do you mean? Momo did it the whole time!"

"Sokka, you're so smart!"

"Guys I have something to tell you, I'm actually a guy."

(My own)

"I'm serious!"

"I'm not blind, these are just contacts."

"I'm terribly sorry."

"I'm glad my parents raised me to have manners. I don't know why I left them."

(By 'loha)

"I hate being blind."

"I'm the worst earthbender ever!"

"I love Aang."

"Katara is not mushy."

"Sokka is smart, hot, and strong."

"Aang could beat me any day."

CHR

Woo I got some good ones and by the way, if you guys don't understand the "I'm serious" one that I picked you kind of have to think of her tone as not being sarcastic at all! I know it's hard.

Okay the winner in this chapter is AirGirl Phantom for her (Please correct me if I'm wrong but common sense from the word girl in your fan name must tell me you're a girl…right?) "You know what? Aang is WAY braver than I am. He deserves a manlier name than Twinkle Toes." It was very funny.

Azula is next.


	7. Azula

**Azula**

You guys are so AWESOME! Okay now help me break a record! The most reviews I got which were in my very first story (which by the way I think is a piece of crap but the fans seemed to love it) were 85 in eleven chapters so, my loyal reviewers, let's see if we can break the record and get beyond 85 reviews by the eleventh chapter!

Okay it's Azula's turn!

CHR

(From BlueEclipse)

"I love Zuko!"

(From Beagle-luv)

"No Zuko, it's not incest...it's...practice, for when you're older."

"What? Heck no! Dad's crazy! I'm not going to help him!"

"I'm a Sokka fangirl!"

"I think...I want to wear blue, like the waterbenders...sigh they're so graceful."

"Does this make my hips look big?"

"OMG Ty Lee! That is so cute! Let me try it on! squeal"

"I'm actually happy! And no one has died!"

(From AirGirl Phantom)

"Please, father, banish me too!"

"I'm so glad I'm not an only child."

"Oh well, nobody's perfect."

"I feel so bad for manipulating my childhood friends..."

"Oh, to heck with the Avatar, I'm going on vacation."

"YES! I lost!"

(From Wingless Arrow)

"Aww, come' ere Zuko, someone needs a hug."

"Sokka is mine!"

"I think I'll Join Aang & Zuko in a game of hopscotch"

"Father, I'm going to the light side, they have poofy pink ponies."

"I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world."

"I'm a Zuko fangirl! Fangirls unite!"

(My own)

"I miss mom."

"Why did I ever want father to be fire lord? I wish it was uncle!"

"I wish I wasn't so intimidating."

"Hahahaha! I love it when I'm not serious!"

"We never should've taken the Kyoshi warriors' outfits. We should return them." (From The Earth King, The Guru, and The Crossroads of Destiny)

CHR

Okay that was all I could think of. Thanks again you guys. I say the winner is AirGirl Phantom for her (yes this time I know she's a girl for certain!) "YES! I lost" one. That was funny.

Okay I was planning on doing Ty Lee next but since December's Element dared me to I'm going to do…FIRE LORD OZAI!!!! Good luck with that!


	8. Ozai

**Ozai**

Sorry I took so long, my computer was giving me troubles, you guys are totally awesome we just need 27 more reviews to tie with my other story and we're only on chapter eight!

CHR

(By friendlymushroomgal)

"Sigh. I miss my brother."

"I'm gonna declare peace to the world!"

"I'm going to make Zuko the next Firelord!"

"Azula's not a good firebender."

"Let's all have fun!"

"Aw, to heck with the Avatar!"

(By SylverEyes)

"Dominating the world? Do you have ANY idea what that would do to the balance?!"

"Maybe if the Avatar comes, I'll surrender and let him take my throne. That way, I'll be helping others!"

"Azula, who do you think you are? Your brother can top you in any way."

"Having at heart is NOT overrated."

"Come back, son, I miss you!"

"Iroh. Brother Dearest, I'm giving up the throne so that you can be Fire Lord."

"I miss my wife."

"I hate firebending, and have decided to become a non-bending hippie. I hear Chong needs another member in his band!"

"Charity makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

(By Wolfpelt)

"Let's all promote world peace!"

"Can I have some calm, relaxing tea?"

"I think I want to remarry- but to a waterbender this time."

"War? What war?"

(By Beagle-luv)

"Huh? The avatar? Wha? What the hell is an Avatar?!?!" (Okay, I know I said no curse words, but this I couldn't resist!)

"Azula! Fetch me the fluffy bunny!"

"Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Happy..."

"You know, I once ate a peanut from under the couch."

Ozai: "Azula! Get the soul music!"  
Azula: "Um..."  
Ozai: "Dido, Azula! DIDO! Can't you do anything right?"  
(Dido is a singer. I'm not sure which songs but...it's really slowish and stuff.)

"I wonder...how much wood WOULD a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

(By Wingless Arrow)

"Azula, Your banished"

"Zuko, Your hot. -fangirl scream-"

"My name isn't Ozai, Its Ozzy. "

"I'm going to let Iroh, my big and cuddly brother."

(By BlueEclipse)

"May the Force be with you!"

(By Tomboy 601)

"Why did I banish my son?"

"Zuko is my favorite child."

"I'm arranging a marraige for Azula with Sokka."

"I'm going to give my brother the throne."

"Iroh is a much better firebender."

(By digiwildfire)

"Here Zuko, give this engagement ring that water tribe girl you like."

"MAN! I feel like a woman!"

(By AirGirl Phantom)

"I love you, Zuko."

"Maybe I should let the cameras see my WHOLE face this time, not just the bottom half." (cough)

"I think I'm going to lose the war."

"I feel so desolate and alone without my son!"

"I bet Iroh would've been a better Fire Lord."

"I feel so bad for (insert anyone's name here)."

"I wish I had as many fangirls as Zuko. He's so cool."

(By Tinsel Tinkerbell)

"Ah, to heck with this war, I'm going out for lunch."

(My own)

"Man, I'm just as intimidating as Azula. Maybe I should have a cup of calming jasmine tea."

"What do you mean Iroh; I'm totally the understanding type." (From the winter solstice: avatar Roku)

"I shouldn't have taken the throne from Iroh."

"I regret (insert any word/s that make/s sense in the ending of this sentence.)

"How can the past fire lords stand wearing theserobes? Do they have ANY idea how hot it is behind a giant wall of flame!? That's it I'm putting these flames out."

"Oh boy we're having music night tonight; it's too bad Iroh isn't here."

CHR

Great job you guys. Okay now normally I would've had just one person win but some of these are so funny that I can't decide so now I'm doing a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place.

In first place: SylverEyes for his/her "Dominating the world? Do you have ANY idea what that would do to the balance?!"

In second place: Beagle-luv for his/her "Huh? The avatar? Wha? What the hell is an Avatar?!?!"

In third place: AirGirl Phantom for her "Maybe I should let the cameras see my WHOLE face this time, not just the bottom half." (cough)

And I have to mention BluEclipse for his/her "May the force be with you." Because you do know that fire lord Ozai is played by Mark Hamill who played Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, and if you didn't, well, now you do.

Well now that that's out of the way, Ty Lee is next!


	9. Ty Lee

A/N: Sorry updating took so long I sort of slacked off a little in school and now I'm working to get my grades back up!

Ty Lee

(By kitkat1237)

"I decided that being flexible is lame!"  
"I'm going to wear lots of eye liner and dress in all black"  
"I want a nose peircing"  
"cartwheels suck"  
"I hate everything"  
"goth's and emo's are cool"  
"I absolutely, positevly hate pink"

(By deepreader)

"Say hello to my little friend" (pulls out anything that Ty Lee finds disgusting, creepy, etc. in any way!...Oh God some of you sick minded are going to think up some gross stuff)

(By SylverEyes)

"Mai, can I borrow your make-up/clothes/throwing daggers?"  
"... that wasn't funny."  
"I'm bored."  
"Ew, you mean the guy with the boomerang? One word: Loser!"  
"Mai, I don't think I'm going to tease you about Zuko anymore."  
"Hey look, puppies! Let's shoot them!"  
"No one loves me."  
"A back flip? Wouldn't that take effort?"  
"Chi? Are you sure that's a real word? Maybe you meant to say... cheek?"  
"Azula, why are you so happy all the time? Tone it down."  
"-evil, diabolical, maniacal laughter-"  
"I get it!"  
"Coordinated? Me? You've got to be kidding."  
"Azula, you're an idiot."

(By Kaguya Yumaiasai)

'Hey Mai, I've decided to go all emo and steal your look.'

'My favorite color is black.'

(By VisMorgana)

"Mai, I want you to give Zuko to me."  
"Hey everyone? I'm gonna wear black starting now."  
"Azula, I hate you. I love Zuzu!!"  
Emo people are just misunderstood.  
So I think that the Avatar is the coolest thing since Stadium Mustard.  
sigh I wish I was a bender.  
The circus really is a freak show.  
I have an utterly, terrifying fear of the light shade of red…  
Oh nuu!! We have to wear make up like the Kyoshi Warriors?! No! It'll ruin my perfect little face!!  
Walking on your hands? Psh, that's stupid.  
You know that Water Tribe boy? He's nowhere near as hot as the Cabbage Guy.  
I'm bored with poking..I think I'll try Firebending!  
Oh. My. God. I want Jun's clunky boots..they'll go great with the nose ring I'm getting.

(By digiwildfire)

"o-m-g... THE EVIL FLYING MONKIES ARE OUT TO GET ME!"

(By AirGirl Phantom)

"OMG! The pink! IT BURNS!"  
"Forget the circus, I'm gonna go huddle in a corner and be emo with Zuko and Mai."  
"Azula sucks. I'm glad I'm not like her."  
"Ouch! Stretching hurts!"  
"Stop joking around!"

(By arisu's smile)

"Smiling? I smile?"  
"Life sucks."  
"My wrists hurt."  
"Spinning makes me dizzy."  
"Oi. I blanked. Where are the pressure points again?"  
"No, the circus smells too funny. I'm thinking of applying as a receptionist or something."  
"Ouch, that hurt my feelings."  
"No way, man. Azula's crazy."  
(Looking at Sokka) "I think I just threw up a little."

(By prettypurplepenguin)

"My aura has never been blacker."  
"What? Sokka? Why would I like him? Zuko is so much hotter."  
"I'm depressed."

(By AvatarFannumba1-4eva)

"I am going to kill that hideously fluffy rabbit!"  
"I am going to turn into Mai."  
"I hate pink."

(By Miakoda715)

1 Azula, Y'know the reason I hop around like a peppy circus freak? 'Cause I'm all hopped up on CHI TEA! see 'The Avatar State' to get this  
2 Wow, I really need to quit the circus stuff.  
3 Mai I never noticed how great you might look in pink.  
4 N-n-n-no, Azula my strange cravings aren't because I'm pregnant! And I haven't been sleeping with Sokka either. Or the gaurds. Or the Earth King. Or Bosco. Or the Dai Li. Or Zuko. Or the avatar.

5 …and you smell funny when you're wet!

(By lordcheeezzee)

Instead of flipping people around... I'm gonna start flipping people off!"  
"Hey Mai, give me one of your knives, I've decided to take up cutting."  
To Sokka "I'm way outta your league."  
"I think I'll jab Azula and then she can't bend. MUAHAHAHA!"  
"Psht...going to the circus is for little kids...who have no life."  
"I think I'm gonna start a tea shop with Iroh..."

(My own)

Shrieks "PINK! It's pink! It's a mixture of white and red! It reminds me nothing of the war!" (Fairly Odd Parents quote except I changed the last word)

"I heard that cutting yourself can relieve the pain."

"What is this smile that you speak of?"

CHR

Great job my reviewers I'm already thinking up another funny one that I'm going to do called "Things you'll never see an avatar do!" I'm probably going to do Mai and then (depending on how much feed back I get) I might do Zhao, Suki, Jet, and Yue and then be done.

In first place is SylverEyes for his/her: "…that wasn't funny."

In second place is arisu's smile for his/her: "Oi. I blanked. Where are the pressure points again?"

In third place is lordcheeeze for his/her: "Instead of flipping people around…I'm gonna start flipping people off!"

Mai is next!


	10. Mai

**A/N Well we of course already beat the record by like the 7****th**** chapter and we're only one review away from getting one hundred! Way to go!**

(By Stella Celestial)

"O.M.G. I'm wearing pink...I look so cute!"

"Zuko is so hideous!"

"Of all the things I've done I think wearing pink is the best thing."

"Knives? What knives? I don't know what you're talking about; I don't use knives I throw paper."

"Stand back I know the ancient art of origami!"

"Um do you happen to know where my wand went I need to cure someone to the heavens."

"Hey Sokka do you want to go on a date?"

"Hey don't you know that fighting is so the wrong thing to do? you could like totally hurt someone."

"O.M.G. I so love pink!"

"Instead of fighting people I'm going to give them a hug."

"The ecosystem of the world is going to fall apart!! We need to save the world."

"Help me."

"Go earth go earth go avatar go avatar its your birthday its your birthday Yeah Earth and Avatar."

"Hey... um... Toph... I have something I need to confess... It's... my undying love for you... will you marry me? (Toph) sure I would love to!! (Together) Yeah."

"Hmm I think I'm going to go out and buy me a kitty cat from that zoo owner in Ba Sing Se (see tales of Ba sing se if you don't know who I am talking about/ "The tale of Aang")

(By xxmyxshellxx)

"That is like, the cuh-utest thing EVA!"

"This is fun!"

"Eh...ma...gaw. I think I should sell my knives for cute, fluffy, stuff!"

"Yeah! Shake that !"

"I may become bisexual one day."

"I'm trying out for cheerleading!"

"Lime green stiletto heels are sooo in!"

"...Fudge..."

"Domo arigatou Mr. Roboto."

"Emc squared"

(By Miakoda715)

"Ooh, that outfit is cute Ty Lee. But may I suggest more pink? Red doesn't suit you."

"The weather is pretty today."

(By MC Defenseless)

"Hey Azula, let's play that game with the burning apples again."

"You know, I think I'm starting to kind of like this Kyoshi Warrior outfit."

"OMG THAT WAS LIKE THE GREATEST THING EVAR!1!" ...don't ask

"I think I'm gonna cut my fingernails."

"TOM-TOM! I missed you so much while I was gone! Who's a cute wittle baby brother...?"

"I wish I had a pet like Bosco."

"I LIKE PINK FRILLY DRESSES!"

(By Random.Gal930)

"Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Oh My God! They have a sale on pink!"

"I hate Evanescence. I think Lindsay Lohan sings way better songs." slightly AU

"Hey Ty Lee, let's make a switch. You can have that boring old Zuko, and I can have the Water Tribe Boy. He's so hot."

"Maybe I should ask Iroh to teach me how to Firebend. That way, I can get rid of these hideous darts."

"I wonder if I can get Lord Ozai to give me a scar like Zuko's."

"Azula, I'm pregnant with the Avatar's baby."

"I so enjoyed wearing the Kyoshi warriors make-up. It made me feel peppy. Maybe I should join them."

(By digiwildfire)

"omg! look at this prettyful pink dress! ooh! and this pink mini skirt..."

"does this pink skirt make my butt look big?"

"-gasp- Oh. My. Gosh. I BROKE A NAIL! -cries- and i just got a manicure too..."

"You guys, let's get high on cactus juice"

"i'm going dimension hopping, and i'm gonna work in a pretty pink cafe!"

(By Chibi Kabuto)

"Ty Lee your so cool, your my idol!"

"I loathe black."

"I'm a barbie girl!'"

(By Kittens Jaguara)

"What is the color black? I love pink!"

"Big hug!"

(By TrueThinker)

"Pink is my favorite color."

"Azula is way cooler than me and I should show my respect by building a statue of her and rubbing her feet."

"Isn't life exciting?! I just love it! Let's end world hunger! Or eat candy! Or . . . or . . . get high on chocolate!"

"Ty Lee I love you! You're the best friend a goth could have!"

"I'm gay."

"-sigh- How come you gotta steal my tank-tops? -sigh- That's why I wear black all the time!"

"No, seriously Ty Lee, you can have it."

"My parents are abusive and don't clothe me properly. They only buy me black clothes.  
YOU ROCK!"

"That was hilarious."

"Hey girlfriend! Doesn't Foamy look like so cee-ute today?! We should totally go shoe shopping! Let's get some shoes. Let's get some shoes. Let's get some shoes."

"Zuko, you suck."

"It's Chocolate Mountain Charlie!" (From Charlie the Unicorn)

"You smell . . . like apples." -stupid grin-

"OMG! That shirt is like so cute!"

"OMG! LOL! . . .idk. with pie?"

Mai: This food is great! Thanks Mom! Gosh Dad, I love you. Hi my sweet little Tom-Tom! You're so cute!  
Mai's Mom: We have such a happy, sweet, little daughter!  
Mai's Dad: Indeed we do darling, indeed we do.

"Zuko, you smell like dog crap."

"Eww! Like, Zuko is SO not cute at all!"

"Don't you think Ty Lee needs a boyfriend? Let's totally hook her up with Brian!"

(By Tyler and Ryxelt)

"I'm SO over black. I'm switching to pink."

"Ty Lee! Teach me to flip like you do!"

"I don't like the Fire Nation. I'm going with the Water Tribe."

"Take my darts. I don't have a dart board, anyways."

"I'd rather be playing with Barbie than rule the world."

"I like picking flowers."

"I'm going to become a hippie."

(By SylverEyes)

"I'm finally going to get rid of these throwing knives. Do you have any idea how much they cut off your circulation?"

"I want to pick a favorite, but I can't decide! Rainbows, bunnies, unicorns, stars, swirlies, smily faces..."

"Well, Ty Lee, since you're borrowing my stuff, I think I'll take anything of yours that's... pink."

"Hey Azula, do you think I would look good in Ty Lee's belly shirt?"

"Everything is just so interesting!"

"How can you be bored, with all the possibilities in the world?!"

"Zuko's way too down for me. I'm going to start crushing on someone more positive... how 'bout the Avatar?"

"The Kyoshi Warriors make a great fashion statement. Look at all those colors!"

"I... care..."

(By BlckMagik)

"It's really easy to fathom the height of my love for this place!" (see Return to Omashu)

"Black hair is so last season."

"Did I say 'knives that fly?' I meant 'wives that buy!'"

"Zuko? You mean that guy with the anger problem? Ew."

"Hahahaha! Iroh you're so funny! -leans in- And hot."

"Wow, with everything to do around here, how could one get bored?"

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me."

"Pink is the new black."

"Peppy is the new Emo."

"Oopsie. I made a poopie!"

(By Ty-Lee Sweater Fund)

"OMG THAT WAS SO FUN!"

"Ty-Lee? Can I try on your clothes?"

giggles girlishly

"I am so going to steal that watertribe hottie from Ty-lee!"

(By The Plaid Hatter)

"Wow, I never noticed this before, but clouds are kinda poofy. Poof!" (like Ty Lee on that episode about the drill )

Mai: "Hey, Azula. Guess how many fingers I have. C'mon guess, guess, guess!"  
Azula: (annoyed) "Ten?"  
Mai: "NO! I have eight fingers and two thumbs!! In yo' face!"

(singing) "What do I think of this pie! It's fruity and sweet; the most wonderful thing that I've tried. Oh, what do I think of this pie!"

(By maiko forever)

"Ty Lee, can I borrow your clothes?"

"Why would I want to marry you, Zuko?"

"I'm secretly in love with Ty Lee. Shh."

"THIS IS EXCITING!"

(By Akayu Inu)

"Ty Lee! You stole my pink lipstick, give it back!"

"Oh I think I broke a nail!"

"Knives? What are those things?"

"Life is like a lemon, add a little sugar and it makes a rainbow!"

"Ty Lee! You have to show me how to put on makeup correctly, and how to take it off! Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Man I'm bored, anyone up for twister?"

"Smile and wave to the audience people. Smile and wave."

"…And last but not least…"

"Aww! Wook at dat fwuffy wabbit! I just want to snuggle it to DEATH!! Muhahahah-cough, hack, choke-hahah..."

(My own)

"Emo…you think I'm emo? WHAT in the world gave you that idea?!"

Zuko: "Where have you been all my life?"  
Mai: "Hiding from you."

"Zuko? Please, I'm totally in love with that Water tribe warrior!"

"I feel like scooping up some more bear poop."

CHR

A/N Sorry that was all I could think of Oh and the last one I posted, I was bored and started thinking about things that males and females could say. There are similar ones like the last one I put and I call them "Female comebacks" but for guys I call it "don't let this happen to you"

In 1st place is SylverEyes for his/her: "I…care…"

In 2nd place is Stella Celestial for his/her: "Stand back I know the ancient art of origami!"

In 3rd place is Blck Magik for his/her: "Did I say 'knives that fly?' I meant 'wives that buy!'"

Okay now than if you are a maiko fan and/or don't want spoilers for season 3 of avatar turn back right now! You've been warned. If you flame me all's I'm going to tell you is 'I warned you' and not post up your next quotes…okay I'm not THAT cruel but please just don't flame me.

Spoilers/Maiko stuff begins here: You've been warned You've been warned You've been warned

I am so pissed off! I saw the season 3 preview! Why did Zuko have to kiss Mai! Why?! It is driving us Zuko/Katara Jin Jun Song WHATEVER fans crazy! I happen to be a Zutara fan and want to punch Mai hard in the face! I mean come on! Zuko is WAY to smexy for her and he's gotten even smexier in season 3! His hair is long enough to have this bun thing on top! And another thing! At the comic con last year they had these shipping votes and when ZukoxMai came up everyone started booing! Can't they tell that most of us don't like that pairing?

However there is a bit of hope. First off, why would Mike and Brian show them kissing so early in the season? And I noticed (or maybe I'm just so angry about this that I'm seeing things) But the color looked a little different like whenever someone is looking in the past or they're dreaming. Perhaps Mai is just daydreaming that Zuko will kiss her or it could be a kiss goodbye I don't know. Look at it on youtube if you want. But you guys know how they always tease us to make something look like it's something but actually isn't.

Spoilers/Maiko stuff ends here: DONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONE

One more thing so please listen if there are any Zutara fans I'd like to ask them to check out my latest story called 'Going Back' can you check it out and review on it I'm really getting bummed that not many people are looking at it. I'm not saying you have to. I would appreciate it though. You could tell me if you like it or give me constructive criticism if needed (please no flames.)

I've decided to do Zhao next. And if it's too hard for people to come up with it for him than we'll just end it next chapter and move on to 'Thing you'll never see an avatar character do.'

Whew! That was the longest authors note ever!


	11. Zhao

A/N: Please forgive me! I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long! I had to get a new monitor for my computer because it wasn't working.

Well anyway, enough with my horrible excuses.

* * *

Zhao

(By Mistypool)

"I hate Ozai"

"I like pretty unicorns!"

"I think I'll teach the Avatar firebending!"

"Who cares about the stinking Avatar? The Fire nation is going to lose the war anyway."

"Who is that hot girl over there?"

"Hey Zuko, can I have the water bender?"

"I'm Zuko's biggest Fangirl!"

"What happened to the hot girl at the North Pole with white hair?"

"I think I'll become a nun."

"I like the color pink."

"Real men have tea parties!"

"I think I'll join Iroh for a nice cup of Jasmine tea."

"Am I married?"

(By ANBU Inu)

"Aang Honey! I'm home with your favorite food!"

"You know, I've been thinking... -everyone around him gasps-"

"I'm giving up on the Fire Nation; the water tribe is much nicer."

"Everybody dance!"

"You see when I was dragged under water I met this odd sponge named Spongebob and we became best friends!"

"Like OMG why are we talking like this?"

"That's so sexy!"

"I'M AN ALIVE ALERT AWAKE ENTHUSIASTIC! GOT IT?!"

(By MC Defenseless)

"I'm NEVER getting rid of these sideburns, I love the monkey look!"

(By Random.Gal930)

"Zuko, I'm so sorry for all the bad things I've done to you in the past...Will you p-plea-please ma-marry m-me?"

Zhao: "Men, what I am about to ask you to do is by far the hardest thing you must. To do this, you must have skill, confidence, and fresh breath. This is the hardest and most difficult thing you will ever do in your lives, but I ask you now as a loyal leader: Who's with me!?!?"  
Men: "YEAH! WE ARE, SIR ZHAO! WE ARE!"  
Zhao: "Okay, men: Kiss me!"  
Men: cower in fear and jump overboard

(By Stella Celestial)

"Hey Zuko you are way better than I am at an agni kai why don't you just go ahead and take my position and I'll be on the run."

(By Man I'm like bored and stuff)

"I think what I did to that poor fish was terrible!"

"I've decided to shave off my sideburns."

"Zuko, you are an excellent fire bender! YOU ROCK!"

"Let's go play with dollies!"

"I look like a monkey."

"I wonder if I could have a relationship with that lovely young water bender…"

"MUFFINS!"

"I love the spirits! They're so nice and powerful!"

(By The Zutara Critic)

"Zuko is SUCH a better fire bender than I am"

"Oh yes Jeong Jeong, you're absolutely right. I have no control whatsoever."

"Kill the moon spirit? But that would ruin the balance! really weird squeaky noise"

"You know, Admiral is such a big title. I think I liked Commander better."

(While he's hiring the pirates) "I need you... to throw a party for Zuko. I mean, come on! That kid's been through a lot and as an Admiral I NEED to show him some respect."

"HAIR LOOPIES! LIEK OMG!"

(By irishgal487)

"Zuko you bring respect back to the Fire Nation."

"Zuko, your father had no right to banish you."

(By heaven-monument)

"I think I should just let Iroh take over."

"I suck."

"Zuko, I'm sorry for challenging you to an agni kai. Let's kiss and make out... I meant make up"!

"I should retire soon... I'm almost as old as Iroh!"

"Brown hair, here I come!" [Holds up hair dye

"Aww... Zuko's got a widdle scar on his widdle face! Lemme kiss it better."

"Azula's an idiot."

"Fire bending is dangerous. Children, do NOT try this at home."

"Why the hell am I serving Ozai?"

"yvan eht nioJ!" (From the Simpsons... read it backwards.)

(By Mr. Average)

"Me, Zuko, and the Avatar should hang out sometime."

(To Zuko and/or Aang) "Why can't we be friends?"

"I think I'll retire from the Fire Nation navy and work in Iroh's tea shop"

(By Sandra Evans)

"Marry me, Zuko."

"We must save our ecosystem! Conserve water; be wary of forest fires, and save the moon spirit!"

"You know, Aang, I think I'll just let Zuko keep you. He's a better prize anyway."

"I'm not really a commander. I'm the cabbage man."

(slightly AU) "Have you seen the new episode of sex in the city? Zomg!"

(My own)

"I'm gay and I'm proud!"

"Hopefully these sideburns will attract a monkey I can marry!"

"I'm too sexy for my shirt."

"Well now that I'm dead and out of the job, how about we go watch meaningless soap operas!"

* * *

A/N: Well there it is. And the "I'm gay and I'm proud," thing is because I noticed a lot of reviewers kept on making Zhao ask Zuko to marry him or even kiss him. I don't blame him for converting, it'd be pretty hard to fall in love with a man that looks like a monkey and has the temper of a gorilla that's also probably why he's trying to get a monkey to fall in love with him!

In 1st place is Mistypool for his/her: "Real men have tea parties!"

In 2nd place is the Sandra Evans for his/her: "We must save our ecosystem! Conserve water; be wary of forest fires, and save the moon spirit!"

In 3rd place is heaven-monument for his/her: "Fire bending is dangerous. Children, do NOT try this at home."

Yay, I got my first chapter up for my story "The Guardian Angel." Huzzah! Oh and I have a question. And I know it sounds stupid but I don't know what it means and it's driving me crazy. What does ZOMG mean? Somebody, anybody please tell me!


	12. Jet's next!

**JET'S NEXT JET'S NEXT JET'S NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Put all ideas for Jet here! I'll delete this chapter later!!!! Sorry I forgot!!!!**


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